I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
At least life still wants to fuck me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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