I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
