some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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