I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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