I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
