just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
