his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize