The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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