The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
