I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
