I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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