I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize