When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize