Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
