Quick, to the slutcave!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
