I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
