well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
