...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
