why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
