I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
