the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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