Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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