BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
