forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
