i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
