Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
