U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
