Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I still have a little drunk in my system
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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