So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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