he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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