no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
