he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
where am i from again
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she peed on how many people?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize