This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
