I heard we made out
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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