Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I bet he comes in French.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
