Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
