you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
