the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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