So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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