No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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