okay pat passed out under dana's car
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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