i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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