The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
