so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
