i may or may not be watching the land before time
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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