It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
