I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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