We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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