i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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