What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize