hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
