I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
