I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
