piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
