Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
