So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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