Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
