fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize