Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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