Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize