what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
