I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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