Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
