I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
