I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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