normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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