But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
