Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
