i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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