my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
