Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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