i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
