Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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